Have you ever found yourself in a situation in life where you ask yourself, “why am I here”? If you have, then the next thing you do is reflect on your past and try to figure out why you are in the current predicament that you are in. Doing this is a waste of time really, because you can’t change the past, no matter how hard you try.
Wasting Time Reflecting
Understand that when I say you are wasting time when you look back at your life, I don’t mean that your past isn’t valuable. Your past is very valuable. You have gone through a lot of things in life and hopefully have learned from the many mistakes you’ve made and also learned from the success you’ve had. But when you look back and question why you are in your current situation, you are wasting your time.
A classic example of this is someone after a breakup. They spend the majority of their time asking themselves “what went wrong” and “what could I have done differently”. While there is some value to understanding why the relationship ended and getting closure, spending all of your free time pondering these questions are a waste of time. You can’t change the past.
What you should be doing is asking yourself, “where do I go from here”? This subtle change in the question makes a world of difference. You go from thinking negatively, “what went wrong” to thinking positively, “where do I go from here”. You show that you accept what has happened in your life and you are ready to move forward.
Looking Ahead, Not Behind
When you make this subtle change in your thinking, you open yourself up to the possibility of great things coming into your life. You can’t move forward and become the best you possible if you are always looking back.
A few months ago, Rachel wrote about acceptance – accepting others and ourselves. It’s important as well to accept our situation. The sooner we can do this, the sooner we can continue on with our lives.
A few years ago, this situation happened to me. I ended a relationship and for a period of time questioned my decision. For months, I kept looking back, analyzing the relationship from start to finish. I will never get those months of my life back. During that time, I never progressed, never moved forward with my life. I stood there, stagnant. It was easily the darkest hours of my life.
Once I was able to change my thinking and focus on all of the great things that my future offered, my mood and my outlook brightened. I became excited and I looked forward to life. I challenge you to accept that you can’t change the past. Accept what has happened and move on. You have a great life ahead of you, waiting to be discovered, if you’ll only accept it and move forward.
Hi, my name is Don and I run Breath of Optimism. This site is here to help you stay positive and become the best you can be. We only get one shot at life, so we might as well make the most of it.